Why methodology matters
Dating app reviews on most sites are either vague lifestyle pieces or thinly disguised affiliate promotion. Neither is useful to someone trying to decide where to invest their time and money. We use a consistent framework because it makes comparisons meaningful and keeps our assessments honest — including to ourselves.
Our scoring criteria
Each platform is scored out of 10, based on six equally weighted criteria (each scored out of 10, averaged):
1. User base quality (20%)
Size and concentration of CNM-identified users; regional coverage; active user density in major cities; distribution across CNM relationship styles (polyamory, swinging, kink, etc.).
2. Verification and safety (20%)
Identity verification depth; photo verification; reporting mechanisms; how the platform handles disputes; data privacy practices; what happens to your data if you delete your account.
3. CNM-specific features and profile depth (20%)
Relationship structure options; gender and orientation inclusivity; ability to express CNM-specific preferences; partner linking and polycule visibility; filtering by CNM relevant criteria.
4. Moderation quality (15%)
Response time on reports; consistency of enforcement; community standards; how the platform handles bad actors; community feedback on moderation quality.
5. Pricing and value (15%)
What the free tier offers; premium tier cost relative to features; whether the premium paywall is reasonable or artificially restrictive; pricing transparency.
6. Overall experience (10%)
Interface quality; speed; reliability; whether the product feels like it was built by people who understand the community.
How we test
We create and maintain accounts on each platform we review. We use them. We experience the onboarding, the matching, the messaging, and the premium features firsthand. We also draw on community experience — reading extensively in CNM community spaces (Reddit, forums, community groups) to understand patterns of experience that go beyond our own.
Reviews are updated at minimum every six months. Platforms change; scores change with them. The update date is shown on every review.
Affiliate relationships
We have affiliate relationships with some of the platforms we review. When you sign up through our links, we may earn a commission. This is disclosed on every review page and in our affiliate disclosure.
Affiliate relationships do not influence scores. A platform with a high commission rate receives the same honest assessment as one with no programme at all. If a platform pays us commission and we think it's not worth your time, we'll say so.
The score a platform receives is determined by the criteria above. Commission rate is not a criterion.