The quick answer
OkCupid if you want the largest possible pool of CNM-open people, a sophisticated matching system, and coverage outside of major cities.
#Open if you want a platform built specifically for CNM — with a community events layer, education resources, and a culture that doesn't require you to explain what non-monogamy is.
These two platforms are often compared because both sit in the second tier of CNM dating options behind Feeld. But they serve different needs, and using both alongside Feeld is a reasonable strategy for serious CNM daters.
Side-by-side comparison
| Criteria | OkCupid | #Open |
|---|---|---|
| CNM intentionality | CNM-friendly — not CNM-native | CNM-native — built specifically for this community |
| User base size | Large — one of the biggest dating platforms globally | Smaller — concentrated in key cities |
| CNM user base | Large in absolute terms; a segment of the whole | Smaller but highly concentrated CNM users |
| Matching system | Strong — question-based compatibility scoring | Profile and preference matching; less algorithmic depth |
| Community events | None | Core feature in key cities |
| Education content | None specific to CNM | Yes — resources for CNM newcomers |
| Smaller city coverage | Strong — benefits from overall platform scale | Limited — events and users concentrated in major cities |
| Free tier utility | More functional than most | Events accessible free; dating features have limits |
| Premium pricing | ~£20–25/month; expensive for what it adds | In line with other specialist platforms |
| Data privacy | Match Group ownership — larger data footprint | Independent platform; smaller data footprint |
The matching depth difference
OkCupid's question-based matching system is one of the most sophisticated in mainstream dating. The question bank covers values, attitudes, lifestyle choices, and relationship dynamics — including questions directly relevant to CNM: comfort with jealousy, openness to multiple partners, relationship structure preferences.
A high match score on OkCupid tells you something meaningful: this person has answered questions in ways that align with yours. For CNM users who want to filter for people with compatible values rather than just compatible appearance, this is genuinely useful.
#Open doesn't have an equivalent system. Matching is more conventional — profile-based with preference filters. The smaller, more intentionally CNM user base compensates somewhat, but the matching depth isn't there.
The community and events difference
#Open's events layer is the counterweight. In cities where #Open has an active events programme, the platform offers something OkCupid categorically doesn't: a route into real-world CNM community that doesn't start with one-to-one dating.
For people new to CNM, this matters. Meeting people in group social settings — a discussion event, a community gathering — before any dating dynamic emerges is a lower-stakes entry point. OkCupid doesn't offer this. Feeld doesn't offer this. #Open does, in cities where it works.
When location decides
Outside major cities, OkCupid wins by default. Its larger overall user base means more CNM-identifying people are there, even if they're a minority of the platform's total users. #Open's network, in cities without active events programming, is too thin to be useful as a dating platform.
In major cities with active #Open events, the comparison becomes genuinely competitive. OkCupid gives you more dating matches across a wider pool; #Open gives you a more intentional community entry point alongside a smaller dating pool.
Conclusion
OkCupid and #Open solve different problems. If you want matching at scale with question-based compatibility: OkCupid. If you want an intentionally CNM community with real-world events: #Open, in cities where it's active.
Both are best used alongside Feeld rather than instead of it. OkCupid adds breadth; #Open adds community depth. Neither replaces the other, and neither replaces Feeld's specialist network.