London's CNM scene
London is one of the best cities in the world to be consensually non-monogamous. The community is large, well-established, and distributed across multiple subcultures — the poly community, the kink and BDSM world, the queer community, and the broader alternative scene all have significant CNM overlap and their own distinct entry points.
The city's size is both asset and challenge. There are more people, more events, and more options than almost anywhere else in the UK or Europe. There's also enough geographic spread that the community doesn't automatically cohere — finding your particular corner of it requires some active navigation. This guide covers the main routes in.
A note on this guide: community events and venues change. We cover the established institutions and reliable recurring events, but always verify current details directly with organisers before attending.
Dating apps that work in London
Feeld
London is Feeld's strongest market. The active user base here is large enough that the platform functions as it's supposed to — regular new profiles, active matching, a genuine sense of an ongoing community rather than a sparse pool. If you're going to use Feeld anywhere in the UK, London is where it pays off most.
The London Feeld community skews toward polyamory, kink-curious, and queer users — consistent with the platform overall, but with the density that makes it actually useful. If you're in or near central or east London, Feeld is the right first stop. Our full Feeld review covers the platform in detail.
#Open
London is one of #Open's most active cities. The events layer — which is the platform's genuine differentiator — is meaningful here in a way it isn't in smaller cities. Check the #Open events calendar for London-specific gatherings before deciding whether to invest in the platform. Our #Open review covers what to expect.
OkCupid
OkCupid has a real CNM community in London. Less concentrated than Feeld's, but with a larger overall user base that means more CNM-open people in absolute terms. Particularly useful if you want to cast a wider net beyond the specialist app community. See our OkCupid review.
Grindr and mainstream apps
Grindr has significant CNM user presence in London's gay and bi male community — many profiles indicate open relationships or poly status. For queer men navigating CNM in London, it's a practical part of the picture regardless of its generic positioning.
Hinge and Bumble both have CNM users in London, identifiable through profile prompts. Neither has CNM-specific functionality, but the user bases are large enough that filtering by profile is workable.
Munches and social meetups
Munches — casual, non-sexual social meetups, usually in a pub or café — are the lowest-stakes way into the London CNM and kink communities in person. No experience required, no particular dynamic required. You show up, meet people, have a drink.
London Poly Munch
The London Poly Munch is one of the UK's most established poly social events, running regularly for many years. It attracts a broad range of the poly community — newcomers and long-term practitioners, people in various relationship structures, across ages and orientations. The format is intentionally accessible: a pub booking, no agenda beyond socialising.
Finding current details: search for "London Poly Munch" on Meetup.com or the LPUK (London Polyamory) Facebook group, where event details are regularly posted.
Kink and BDSM munches
London has a well-developed munch culture in the kink community, with regular meetups across different areas of the city and for various subsets of the community (rope, leather, queer kink, etc.). Fetlife is the primary directory for finding current events — search for London-based groups and browse their event listings.
Discussion and support groups
Beyond social munches, London has recurring CNM discussion groups — more structured than a munch, oriented toward working through the practical and emotional challenges of non-monogamy. These appear periodically through the LPUK group and CNM-friendly therapy networks. Some are free; some are fee-based facilitated groups.
Kink and lifestyle events
London's kink event scene is one of the most active in Europe. There's significant overlap with the CNM community — many people in the kink world are also non-monogamous, and many events are explicitly CNM-friendly or CNM-attended.
Torture Garden
Torture Garden is one of the world's most well-known fetish events, based in London and running since 1990. Monthly events at various London venues bring together the kink, fetishwear, and alternative communities. Strict dress code (fetish/alternative attire required). It's not a CNM-specific event, but it's a place where much of London's CNM-adjacent community congregates, and it's been a consistent entry point for people exploring alternative communities for decades.
Klub Verboten and club nights
London's queer club scene — particularly the events at Fabric, EGG, and various east London venues — has substantial CNM community attendance. Events specifically oriented toward queer non-monogamy appear regularly through Resident Advisor and LGBTQ+ event listings. The line between queer clubbing and queer CNM community is permeable in London in a way that isn't true everywhere.
Peer rope and shibari events
London has an active rope bondage community with regular peer rope sessions — spaces where people practise rope with others, learn from each other, and socialise. These tend to be explicitly consent-focused and community-oriented. Search Fetlife for London rope groups for current event listings.
The lifestyle community
London's swinging and lifestyle community is active, with private parties and club nights operating across the city. This community is generally more private than the poly or kink scenes — events circulate through established networks rather than public listings. Kasidie and SLS have some London presence, though the lifestyle community here is proportionally smaller than in some North American cities.
Poly community spaces
Poly discussion events
Beyond munches, London has a recurring landscape of structured discussion events — reading groups, topic-led conversations, workshops on communication and jealousy and relationship structure. These surface through the LPUK Facebook group, Meetup.com, and CNM-friendly therapy practices. They tend to be smaller and more intimate than munches, and better suited to people who want to engage seriously with CNM as a practice rather than just meet people.
Queer poly spaces
London's queer community has its own distinct CNM culture, often more aligned with relationship anarchy and non-hierarchical polyamory than with the couples-oriented model that predominates in some other CNM spaces. Queer poly events and spaces surface through LGBTQ+ community networks, queer feminist organising, and venues like the Bishopsgate Institute and various east London spaces.
Online communities
LPUK — London Polyamory
The LPUK Facebook group is the primary online gathering point for London's poly community. Thousands of members, regular event postings, discussion threads, and a general sense of the community's ongoing conversation. If you're in London and interested in poly, joining this group is the single most useful step you can take online. It's where events are announced and where the community coordinates.
r/polyamory and r/nonmonogamy are global communities but with substantial London representation. For London-specific questions — where to meet people, which events to attend, how the scene works here — posting in these communities will usually get useful local responses.
Fetlife
Essential for the kink side of the CNM community. London has multiple active groups on Fetlife covering different aspects of the kink and BDSM community. It's the most reliable directory for current events, munches, and club nights that aren't publicly advertised elsewhere.
Areas and practical notes
Where the community concentrates
East London — Hackney, Dalston, Shoreditch, Bethnal Green — is the geographic centre of gravity for London's alternative communities, including the CNM and kink scenes. Many events happen here; many practitioners live here. This isn't exclusive — the community spans the city — but it's where density is highest.
South London (Brixton, Peckham, New Cross) has its own alternative and queer community with poly overlap. North London (Islington, Stoke Newington) has an older poly community and more of the discussion-group culture. West London is less concentrated.
Getting around
London's transport network makes managing multiple relationships across the city practical in a way that isn't true of more car-dependent cities. Night Tube and late-night buses mean late evenings at events across zones are manageable without driving. This matters more than it might seem — many CNM people navigate complex scheduling across different parts of the city.
Privacy and discretion
London's size is an advantage for privacy. The city is large enough that running into someone you know at a CNM event is less likely than in smaller cities. Many CNM Londoners are selectively open about their relationships — out to friends and community, not to family or employers. The size of the city makes this compartmentalisation more manageable.
Newcomers
If you're new to London and new to CNM simultaneously, the London Poly Munch is the right first step. It's accessible, no-pressure, and gives you a real sense of the community before navigating the rest of the scene. From there, the LPUK group will give you ongoing visibility of what's happening.
Related: Non-Monogamy for Beginners · Feeld Review · #Open Review · Best CNM Dating Apps